When most people think of ADHD, they think of young boys with “too much energy” who can’t pay attention in class. While this is one way ADHD can appear, there are as many different presentations of ADHD as people live with it. This misconception dramatically contributes to why so many people don’t get diagnosed until adulthood.
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When a loved one struggles with ADHD, it can affect so much more than just their academic or work performance. It can impact relationships, finances, and even personal hygiene. Because of this, it can be challenging to know how to best offer support when someone is struggling to manage their ADHD.
What is ADHD?
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health condition experienced by approximately 8.4% of children and 2.5 adults – characterized by difficulties with concentration, restlessness, and impulsivity that can cause issues in academic performance, professional advancement, and interpersonal relationships.
It is typical for people with ADHD to struggle to finish tasks, stay organized, and frequently misplace items. There’s even an entire blog dedicated to this issue called Black Girl, Lost Keys! This website provides a great illustration of the realities of living with ADHD.
Diagnosis and treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are complex and multifaceted. Symptoms vary from person to person, with some individuals displaying more noticeable signs than others. Furthermore, many ADHD patients experience comorbid issues such as depression or anxiety, further complicating this diagnostic puzzle and making it arduous to determine the exact cause(s).
What are some signs someone might have ADHD?
Recognizing the signs of ADHD can be a perplexing task, as they wildly differ from person-to-person and are often difficult to distinguish from other mental health issues or just ‘normal’ traits. Nevertheless, an assortment of general indicators may reveal someone has ADHD.
Inattention: Have you observed your loved one having difficulty focusing on conversations, following directions, or completing tasks? They may seem distracted often or “lost in thought” for long periods.
Hyperactivity: Individuals with ADHD may struggle to stay in one place for extended periods, like during a movie or lecture, and often find themselves fidgeting, tapping their feet restlessly. They might feel the need to constantly move around or talk without ceasing.
Impulsivity: It may be difficult for your beloved to pause and allow others time to finish their questions, or you may notice that they are constantly cutting in on conversations. You might witness them blurting out answers before anyone can complete the query.
Disorganization: This can look like having a messy bedroom, showing up late for meetings and engagements, or failing to complete crucial assignments.
Difficulty completing tasks: This can show up as never completing projects, procrastination, and feeling overwhelmed by mundane tasks.
If you spot any of these signs in yourself or someone close to you, it may be time to reach out to a physician or mental health expert about ADHD.
How can I support a partner with ADHD?
Though every ADHDer has a unique presentation of symptoms, there are many things you can do to support your loved one. Taking the time to understand what they experience daily can go a long way in developing understanding and sympathy for them.
1. Enhance your understanding of ADHD
If you want to understand how ADHD impacts your loved one’s life and what support they need, exploring the condition can be highly beneficial. You should know that every person with this disorder manifests it differently, so don’t assume that what applies to one individual will also apply to another. Engaging in some research helps give an insight into this complex condition and its nuances.
2. Be patient
Supporting or being in a relationship with someone with ADHD presents certain difficulties. You could find yourself repeatedly asking them to do something and constantly feeling like you’re the only one doing work. Nonetheless, it is essential that we stay composed and remember that this isn’t intentional behavior on their part.
3. Offer comfort and emotional support
Living with ADHD can be disheartening and demanding. It can easily take an emotional toll on your loved one’s well-being. Be a compassionate ear for them when they need to talk or vent their frustrations—your support and understanding will do wonders in helping them navigate the daily struggles of living with ADHD.
4. Set up a system of support
Providing general emotional support is essential, but providing tangible help systems can be even more practical. Helping to create a daily routine or tracking important dates and appointments may benefit your loved one. A great resource you can use to assist them is reminders on your phone about what needs to be done throughout the day. This will provide extra aid in their life and peace of mind knowing they won’t forget things!
For example, they have an appointment at ten on Monday morning. They’ll probably forget, even though they’ve set alarms and talked about it all weekend. To help support them, you text or call them at 8:30 AM. “Hey, remember your appointment is in 90 minutes” – this gives them ample time to get ready and get to the appointment on time.
Only do this if it’s okay with them or if they ask. You can suggest it but don’t do so in a condescending/babysitting way if that makes sense.
You can help them identify their triggers and brainstorm coping strategies for feeling overwhelmed. It can be helpful to write these things down so that you can refer to them when needed.
5. Body Doubling
For ADHDers who find it hard to begin or finish tasks, body doubling can effectively offer assistance without vast effort. Often, just having another person in the room while attempting to focus on a task is enough for someone to feel supported and make considerable progress.
This could involve working or studying together, sitting with them while they clean their room, or even being gym buddies.
If you can’t be there with them, tell them about FocusMate – the golden goose of body doubling! You get three free sessions every month or an unlimited session package for only $6.99/month – either way, it’s a great deal.
6. Get them moving
People with ADHD often struggle to find focus and attention due to a decrease in dopamine levels within the brain. Fortunately, any form of physical activity can be beneficial in raising those levels and maintaining them! Exercise does not need to mean joining a gym or doing intense workouts – even just integrating some movement into your daily routine can make all the difference for someone with ADHD.
Offer to join them on a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. It doesn’t have to be strenuous!
7. Encourage treatment
If your partner is enduring difficulties with ADHD, motivate them to seek treatment. Treatment may include a combination of medication and therapy, which can be beneficial for managing the condition.
There are many different options out there and it can be helpful to explore different ones until you find what works best. It’s also important to remember that treatment is not a one-time thing. It’s often necessary to continue treatment long-term in order to manage symptoms.
If you’re unsure where to start, encourage your loved one to talk to their doctor or mental health professional about different treatment options. There are even online options available now!
Can ADHD be cured?
While there is no cure for ADHD, managing symptoms and living a happy, fulfilling life is possible. With the proper treatment and support, people with ADHD can lead successful lives.
If you are concerned about your partner living with ADHD, expressing your concerns respectfully and being supportive is essential. Your presence and understanding can go a long way toward improving their quality of life.
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